| Author | Message | ||
| Khizra Aslam
Valued Member Username: khizra Post Number: 147 Registered: 05-2005 |
Ghazal The solution was hydrochloric acid; the problem was, like water. And as he poured in some turpentine the solvent was, like water. For the black rose rare does not grow everywhere, While boundless those bounties, what cause was, like water? In a field of corn, those sheep grow horn As they rush by the rocks, with no flaws, like water. And the oil-lamp flickers as her night grows colder, And her naked moon slips through the clouds, like water. Look, those purple petunia open again! Here green stamens droop in this vase with water. She walks behind the placid guide as ever, And she touches on his flaccid laws, like water. | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 1877 Registered: 08-2003 |
Khizra, this is beautiful. The rhythms and images are haunting. I believe water metaphorically is a universal solvent. Yes. I tripped on "flaccid laws". Not sure what to think for English translation. Would like a more concrete image. Smiles. E | ||
| marty
Advanced Member Username: marty Post Number: 663 Registered: 10-2003 |
Beautiful writing. I can imagine what "his flaccid flaw" would mean although i might be wrong. Nonetheless, the rhythm is nothing less than captivating. Cheers brethren Marty | ||
| michael julius sottak
Advanced Member Username: julius Post Number: 1630 Registered: 12-2003 |
you describe this well, Khizra...insidious and seeping, like water...uncontrollable thirst...for black water... I like the mystery & subtle beauty of the infusion... or did I miss this entirely? | ||
| Gary Blankenship
Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 4987 Registered: 07-2001 |
Khizra, bow. For the short list. I thought the last line was to include a name reference. Do you have on 3rd from bottom? Smiles. Gary and Central Asia (grin) The new, August FireWeed is ready for you to read. Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/ to get to the issue in a click or two. | ||
| Khizra Aslam
Valued Member Username: khizra Post Number: 152 Registered: 05-2005 |
Emusing, marty, julius, and Gary, thanks for your comments. Gary, the name (takhallus) is 'guide' in the second last line. Yes, you can read it in the third last L too. [khizar: guide; green] Khizra | ||
| M
Board Administrator Username: mjm Post Number: 5332 Registered: 11-1998 |
Still very much in awe of this one, Khizra. Fine, fine work. Thanks so much for posting it here so that others may enjoy and comment. | ||
| Khizra Aslam
Valued Member Username: khizra Post Number: 153 Registered: 05-2005 |
M, thankyou very much. |
